WELCOME TO "THE DOGHOUSE"
LOOK!! I'm sooooooooooo cute!!!
MY Puppy Picture (below):
I want to be just like my mom when I grow up!!
My favorite sports:
Being lazy
Making a mess -- It's not my fault!! The monkey on my back told me to do it!!!
Lying on furniture and chewing stuff
Staying in bed all day
Things I like to chew:
Things I like to chase:
Things I like to eat:
What I DON'T like to eat:
What my gramma thinks of my eating habits:
Do you think I should go on a diet???
Things I like to pee on:
My girlfriend... ain't she cute?!!!
MY PUPPY JOKES:
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HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out light bulb? Border Collie: Just one? Sure, and I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp! Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry. Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me! Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I? Malamute: Let the Border collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch. Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark. Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ> Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there... Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle... Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb? Buster: What's a lightblub? Can I eat it?!!! *pant*pant*
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What Does The Dalmation Do?
A nursery school teacher was delivering a
station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting
in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.
The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.
"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."
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Clues That The Dog's In Charge You bought a bigger bed so that the dog could have more leg room. You never forget to kiss your dog before you leave the house; the same, however, cannot be said of your disgruntled spouse. You introduce yourself to every dog you meet as, "(Your dog's name) mamma/pappa." Your dog's wardrobe is as large as yours. You let your dog have canine guests over; in fact, you insist on his socialization. You tell your dog secrets you wouldn't share with your psychiatrist. You watch TV sitting on the floor, so that the dog can sit on the couch behind you and rest his chin on your shoulder for a good view. |
Friendly Dog?
A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet.
"Does your dog bite?" he asked.
"No." was the reply.
A few minutes later the dog took a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" the man said indignantly.
"That's not my dog." He said...
ON THE FIRST DAY |
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When Dogs Go and Crossbreed Pointer + Setter = Pointsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Sky, a dog for visionaries.
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed.
Pekingese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog.
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh & clean as a whistle.
Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever =Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors.
Terrier +Bulldog = Terribull, a dog prone to awful mistakes.
Blood hound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly.
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by ....oh well, it doesn't matter anyway.
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work.
Deer hound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.
Bull Terrier + Shitzu = BullShitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed. |
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Things Your Dog Would Say If He Could Talk |
A Man Run's Into The Vet's Office.....
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog,
screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him
put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body
and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.
The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second
opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the
cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to
tail, poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally look sat the vet and meows.
The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog
is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in
a black lab, the lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks
at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab
thinks your dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how
much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?"
exclaims the man. "Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50
for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests
CAREERS FOR DOGS:
POLICE DOG
WAL-MART GREETER
POSTER/MOVIE STAR DOG
HOT-DOG
BUSINESS DOG/ACCOUNTANT (like my mommy!!)
FIRE DOG
GUERILLA DOG
CAT-SITTER
(Does that mean you get to sit ON the cat???)
